[to the tune of the jingle bells chorus]¹

Is it cold, in the snow?
Have yer balls dropped off?
What is the temp’rature outside,
Are cow pats all frozen?
Hey!

It looks like, it will be
The warmest winter yet
In thirty years of history
You might not need a hat!²

¹ Sorry one and all. I get bored when Mr P is not around and make up stupid songs. That said, I do that when he’s aboot anyway. He is an effective filter for the world against my (un)punniness.

² Mr P informs me that it’s -5ºC and dropping. And how would he know that? Because Ms Awesome bought his parents a fanxy wireless weather station 3 years back…