Santa sleeps with his bum in the air

Did you know that Santa likes to sleep with his bum in the air? It’s a little known fact.* All the better for the gas to escape…

*In fact, it’s not a fact at all. Nor is it known to be not a fact at all. Nobody cares how Santa sleeps. They just want him to bring their presents, and never ask how he copes with the sleep deprivation, cold air wafting through his trousers, and the pressure of the expectation of all the children in the world. It’s an even littler known fact that Santa spends 364 days in therapy because of our greedy expectations.

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